Letters to My Teenagers - Indiana Jones and the search for self esteem

being a teenager is a lot like an Indiana Jones adventure

Intro: I always thought that I would be a "cool dad" to my teenagers because I would remember what it's like to go through that difficult and exciting period of life.  The problem is that while I find many things improve with age, I do find myself having a harder time remembering what it's like to be fifteen.  I'm worried that if I wait until my kids really are teenagers, I won't remember a thing.  So I will capture my thoughts while I still have them in a series of posts called "Letters to My Teenagers".

This post requires some homework first.  It's not hard, you just have to watch a movie.  If you haven't seen an Indiana Jones movie, go download Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  Playing Lego Indiana Jones on the Wii doesn't count.

Being a teenager is like you're Indiana Jones - and you're on a perilous adventure fraught with puzzles and villains and if you "choose wisely" you will obtain the Holy Grail.  And the Holy Grail for teenagers is self esteem- being truly happy with who you are and where you are going.

During every Indiana Jones adventure, he faces danger around every corner.  During this adventure, Indy faces two tough challenges:  Friends and Hormones.

Friends:

Indiana Jones never departs on an adventure alone, especially one so big as the search for the Holy Grail.  He always takes some friends with him.  These friends serve as a great help and support for Indy.  They accept him for who his is, are always happy to see him, and they always have fun together.  The problem is, sometimes Indy relies on his friends a little too much.  Instead of charting his own course to the holy grail and using his own internal compass, he leans on the judgement and "compasses" of his friends and ends up lost in the desert.  Just like Indy, these friends are also searching for the Holy Grail and sometimes they will get lost and try to take Indy with them.

Indy needs to be careful not to compare himself to his friends.  Each of his friends have strengths and weaknesses, and just because one of Indy's friends is the best swordsman around, doesn't mean he's better than Indy.  Indy needs to remember he is the best with the whip.  Sometimes the adventure gets so crazy, that it's hard to tell what is really a strength and what is really a weakness!  Something that Indy envy's in a friend, like his friends loud voice, could actually get them caught by the cannibals in the jungle.

You also have to watch out for those friends who want the Holy Grail so bad, that they are willing to stand on  your shoulders to get out of the snake pit, then leave you behind.

Bottom Line:  Choose good friends for your adventure, but don't rely on them to be the "compass" in your journey, and never compare yourself to them, just work to be the best adventurer you can.

Hormones:

Oh Indy.  Those girls are always distracting him from the Holy Grail.  This part of the adventure is like the cartoon "Alladin".  When Alladin enters the cave of wonders, he finds is filled with beautiful diamonds and rubies.  He knows he is supposed to take only the lamp, but he can't help himself to one beautful ruby.  When he grabs the ruby first, the cave starts to implode, and nearly costs Alladin the lamp and his life.  In hindsight, what Alladin should have done was grab the lamp first, then use the lamp to get you all the rubies he wanted.  Girls are like rubies - those hormones pumping through your veins may make you think you want them more than the magic lamp (the holy grail), when really you should grab the holy grail first then use it to attract the opposite sex.

Hormones are also like the poison drinks that some of his enemies slip to Indiana Jones without him knowing.  After Indiana takes a drink, he finds he has a hard time thinking and concentrating on his journey.  He knows he is supposed to be progressing in his journey, but finds his thoughts inexplicably cloudy.

Also, watch out for those of the opposite sex who want the Holy Grail so badly, they don't care if they side with the Evil Germans to get there.  That's a whole different blog post...

Bottom line:  Find happiness in yourself first and beware of unexplainable emotions and thoughts.    

Enjoy your adventure, just like Indy enjoys his adventures.  Hold true to your internal compass to navigate the challenges of friends and hormones and you too shall possess the Holy Grail.

Frog Sighting! BlogFrog baby turns 1

This guy is my BlogFrog baby.  He was born 5 days before I quit my comfy Aerospace job for the unknown of the startup.  And now he turns 1.

Happy birthday BlogFrog baby!

Giving a keynote address to 375 Amazing Bloggers

This room was packed with 375 amazing, talented bloggers.  Photo by Shelleblok 

Last weekend I got the amazing opportunity to be a keynote speaker at the Casual Bloggers Conference.  I was able to open up the conference and give the first speech to a room packed with 375 influential mom bloggers.  I was asked to share my story and what I have learned so far, which has got to be my favorite subject by far!

I got to share my story of growing up fascinated with technology.  How I was programming at 13 and hosting online Bulletin Boards out of a closet.  How this love of technology guided me through college then brought us to Boulder Colorado.  Then I got to share how moving away from all our friends and family got us into blogging and the frustration that was felt as readers would try and carry on conversations in the comments, which is how BlogFrog was born.  I talked about the months spent moonlighting – building instruments to study the stars by day, then working with the new stars of the internet (the bloggers) by night. 

Then I shared some facts about blogging that we have been compiling over the years on just how amazing moms who blog are. 

I closed my address with some specific advice and stories about how you can get started on your project or new business.  While I could have shared hundreds of tips learned, these were the 5 I thought would be the most helpful:

• Find your niche.  There’s a huge temptation to start of trying to be all things to all people.  Focus on one niche first, conquer that, then expand to the next niche.  At BlogFrog, we started off being the social tool for everyone, then focused on blogs, then women’s blogs.
• Do your homework.  I’ve done far more homework since college then I ever did in college.  Starting a company takes lots of study and research.  If you’re a true entrepreneur, the problem is not coming up with ideas, it’s identifying and saying no to the bad ideas so you can focus on the good ideas.  When I came up with the idea for BlogFrog, I spent months building financial models, pitches, and execution plans.  Then I talked with anyone who would listen to me about the project, always asking these amazing 11 words at the end "Who else do you know who would be interested in this?".   Slowly I was  filtered up to those who could help make the business succeed.
• Partner up.  It’s nearly impossible to launch a life-changing company by yourself.  Your first pitch shouldn’t be for money or a big sale, it should be convincing someone to be crazy enough to do this with you.  1 + 1 = 4 when it comes to people and starting a company.  I talked to 30 people before I finally met my co-founder, Holly Hamann.  I knew she was a great fit because she was good at the things I wasn’t, and I was good at the things she wasn’t.  We could talk candidly, even debate, but it was always with the good of the business in mind and we would never take it personally.
• Pivot.  You have to try lots of different things when you start a company.  A pivot is different then changing directions.  When you pivot, just like a pivot in sports, you keep one “foot” grounded in what you know.  You pivot around that foothold, toward the better solution or greater problem.  Your speed and agility is your greatest asset as a startup.  When a well established company tries to pivot, it’s like turning the titanic.  A startup can pivot on a dime.  Some examples of famous pivots include Flickr (which started as an online game) and Paypal (which started off as payments between Palm Pilots).
• Don’t get discouraged.  Starting a company isn’t easy.  If it were, everyone would do it.  As an example, Blogger is the software which pioneered the idea of blogging.  I took a poll of the audience, and nearly everyone in the audience had been blogging less than 5 years.  Blogger has been around for 11 years!  It took people 6 years before they really started using it.  There's no such thing as an over-night success.  It just looks like an overnight success because we don't notice it until it's successful!

I closed by telling the audience that there is no better time to start a company.  Everything you need to know is available online.  I feel like I have earned an MBA reading and studying blogs like A VC, Feld Thoughts, Seth Godin, etc.  No additional schooling necessary.  Also, never has there been such great support for those who are starting companies.  It's much easier to connect with those who want to help you.

It was a great conference and an amazing experience.  I hope those in the crowd thought so as well!

P.S.  I started the talk by telling a funny story about pants.  The day before at the speakers dinner, Julie had told us about a post about speaking tips at White Hot Truth.  It includes style tips, and the tip for guys was to wear nice pants.  I had this covered because a few days earlier I had gone to the mall and bought a rockin' pair of pants.  I packed them and brought them to the conference, I tried them on the night before and was shocked to find that they didn't fit!  If I wore them I would have been arrested!  Perplexed I thought... "hmmm, I probably should have tried these on first before I bought them".  Total guy moment.
    

My twenties, by the numbers

This weekend I shut the door on my 20’s.  Surprisingly, I was a little sentimental about this and spent a lot of time looking back at the past decade.  I thought about what went well, and what I could have done better.  I think this is another skill learned while starting a company.  Often the most valuable part of an experience is after it takes place, because that is when you can truly learn from it.

So for a recap of my 20’s, I thought I’d do it by the numbers (and also chronologically):

7200. Hours spent doing volunteer work
6000.  Miles traveled chasing the perfect girl (she lived in Hawaii at the time)
1. Number of perfect girls married.
1.  Number of awesome cars traded for a more “affordable” car
13.  Number of months between getting married and birth of a perfect little girl… who almost killed us.
2250.  Hours spent in the classroom to get a graduate degree.
0.  Number of people we knew in Colorado when we moved.
12.  Different satellite projects worked on during 4 years at a national aerospace company
2.  Companies Started (I started a tennis academy in college)
2.  Homes bought.
18.  Pairs of tennis shoes worn through.
11.  Peaks hiked in Colorado over 14,000 feet
3.  Beautiful children
5.  Number of days after birth of 3rd child before quitting my comfortable job to start BlogFrog
35,000.  Number of Mom bloggers using BlogFrog.
2 Million.  Moms these amazing bloggers reach each month.

It has been a busy decade. I can’t wait to see what the next one brings!