How To Lose - A Lesson in Being Cocky

(photo by annemarlow)

Ever heard of the mercy rule in softball? This rule states that after the 3rd inning, if a team is winning by more than 10 runs, the game is over. Turns out last Wednesday, it was the bottom of the 3rd, and we were up by 9 runs, and batting. We had only been playing 20 minutes and we were not ready to be done.

We got cocky. We started joking around saying things like "only hit base hits" or "hey John, strikeout so I can bat again." Sure enough everyone did get out easily, so we got to play another inning. When we took the field again, encouraged by our comfortable lead, we all played different positions then we normally play. In these new positions, we made lots of errors and before we could finally get 3 outs, they had scored 8 runs.

We were now only up by one run. The cocky jokes in the dugout were no more, the game faces were back. This return from cocky to serious didn't seem to help much because where we had previously been batting effortlessly, the first three batters got out 1, 2, 3. It couldn't have taken more than two minutes.

Back out to the field we went, now only up by one run, you better believe we played our normal positions. This time we played solid defence, but the other team had some great hits and scored 3 runs. Twenty minutes earlier we were worred about the "mercy rule" ending our game early, and now we were losing by 2 runs.

We had one last round of at bats to go for the win, but it was too late - we were victims of our own shock ("I can't believe we could really lose after being up by 9 runs") and could not get a hit. We lost by 2 runs.

Of course we were furious. Upset for two reasons: 1. That we had allowed ourselves to get cocky and 2. That we allowed the shock of "we might actually lose" to cripple us.

I've had some time to think about it now, and I'm glad we lost that game. If we would have scored one more run that inning, we would have won easily, patted ourselves on the back for the blowout, and gone home after a mere 20 minutes. Intstead we got to play the full 60 minutes, and learned two valuable lessons. 1. Don't get cocky 2. Don't fall victim to the shock of "what if we really lose?"

This happens all the time in Tennis. As soon as I think I have a set "in the bag", the other player gets back in the game. If I ever think "What if I really lose to this person?", I really lose to that person.

And like all good sports lessons this seems to apply to life and business as well. I remember one project at my previous employer where I "got cocky" and thought I could do no wrong. A few days later, oh I did wrong. Ever gotten cocky with your marriage? Yeah you know what happens next.

So at TheBlogFrog I'm determined to not take any victory for granted, and not let up until.... well never.

Serena Loses Her Cool - Why you should keep yours

Serena Williams tirades against a lineswoman after a controversial call. The outburst eventually cost her the match (Clive Brunskill / Getty Images)

Since starting TheBlogFrog, I rarely watch TV or movies. I have to make an exception for the US Open. Maybe it's because the tournament takes place in New York City, which allows the matches to be broadcast live, or maybe it's because I've attended the tournament twice, but whatever the reason, I can't get enough of it.

Last night in the women's semi-final, Serena Williams had lost the 1st set but was neck and neck in the second set. She was serving at 15-30 when she was called for a "foot-fault". If you don't play tennis, a foot-fault means your foot touched the line when you served. The rule is intended to make sure you don't get an unfair advantage when you serve, and is rarely used.

When the call was made, Serena lost it and started cursing and threatening the lineswoman who made the call. As a result she was penalized a point, which happened to be match point, and she lost the match (and possibly faces further disciplinary action in the future).

Even if she hadn't lost the match then, she would have lost the match in the next 20 minutes. Why? When you lose your head, you are done for. I've seen it time and time again in tennis, the person who finally cracks under the pressure and has a wild outburst always loses.

It seems this way in other aspects of life as well. I remember Brad Feld describing one particular "death spiral" of startups that goes like this: An early stage company hits a wall and starts losing momentum. The founders panic and think that that they need to just work harder to gain momentum again. Since founders are already working 16 hours a day, they start working 20, sacrificing sleep for the extra time. The sleep-deprived founders start making bad decisions and thus lose more momentum. Eventually the founder panic, lose their heads completely, and take the company into a nose dive.

The solution: step away, get some sleep, think clearly, and act deliberately. Now I bet Serena wishes she read this blog.

You did what?

I hate feeling like an adult. I swore that I would be the parent who always remembered what it's like to be a kid. So when I find myself shocked about something my kids do, it makes me a little sad, because that means I'm being an "adult" and forgetting what it's like to be a kid.

So I'm going to post some little things I did growing up that made me a kid. This way hopefully these things will be on my mind next time my kids are acting like, well, kids. I'm thinking my kids won't actually find or read this blog until they're older, so they won't get any fresh ideas. But given there creativity and curiosity, I don't think they'll need any ideas either.

I made my mom switch me grade school classes so I could be in the same class as a girl I liked. I'm not sure how I pulled this off, but when I found out I wasn't going to be in the same 5th grade class as a particular girl (who shall go unnamed because she may read this blog - thanks a lot Facebook) I complained and complained about the teacher until my mom had me put in the other class.

Remember the San Francisco Earthquake of 1989, where the Bay Bridge partially collapsed? Just like any good kids do, my friends and I decided to re-enact the disaster. One friend got in a "Cozy Coupe" car and we flipped it upside down. The other friend was the rescuer and climbed on top of the car. I was the earthquake and swung the heaviest beanbag I could find into the "rescuers" back which sent him flying off the car and into the window. The window didn't break, but did manage to push his braces through his lip. I think that was the 2nd time I accompanied this friend to the office for stitches (luckily his Dad was a doctor so it worked out quite nicely).

That's all for now, I'm sure they'll be more in the future. I'm sure you have lots of great stories too about you or your kids. So next time your kids do something crazy just think of it terms of "Thanks for giving me such awesome blog material".