Your first child - 8 lbs of pure terror
"I am 8 lbs of pure terror and I'm going to get you"
I still feel like a kid raising kids.
So you can only imagine how I felt when we had Halle. I was barely 23. And mind you our sweet Halle was no ordinary baby. You wouldn't know it by her sweet demeanor now, but when she was a baby she had two modes of operation: asleep or screaming.
Oh the screaming. She was blessed with titanium lungs... and she wasn't afraid to use them. Especially at all hours of the night. I thought we were going to die. I remember being so sleep deprived that I didn't even know what day it was. I remember thinking things like "I can't believe people really do this" and "I hate everyone who was ever a baby".
I'm sure it didn't help that we were totally clueless. The people who let us leave the hospital with another human life should probably be arrested. We read the books and watched the movies, but just like most training, nothing can prepare you for the real thing. For my next job I'm going to arrange a service where newborns are loaned to expectant parents. Halle would have had them running for the hills.
Everything in this story ends well. After about 3 months of torture and just when we were nearing our breaking point - it was like she flipped a switch from evil to angel. The clouds parted and she became my sweet little princess.
So if there are any new dads out there who feel like they are going to die, don't worry it gets better. And Halle, you may have been a tough baby, but I always loved you and always will!
